An Imbalance

I end up painting portraits of myself frequently, mostly out of convenience (I'm the only model available whenever I want). All of my painting reflect some part of me that I might be feeling at the time, as I'm sure is true with most artist's work. Weirdly though I don't consider much of my work to be self portraiture. I see it as I needed a model and I happened to be handy for it.

An Imbalance, 15x22 Watercolor on Paper, 2014

An Imbalance, 15x22 Watercolor on Paper, 2014

This newest painting though, I do consider to be a self portrait. This painting represents my relationship with my menstrual cycle. From late high school until about halfway through college I was plagued by horrible cramps every month. Then I had a large cyst removed and the cramps went down to average. I started having really intense moodiness leading up to my period. Like so much so that I felt completely out of control of my emotions and unbalanced. It felt awful to feel so controlled by my body and its cycles. Since then I got on the pill and its really helped me balance out my hormones. 

The painting reflects on having a small portion of my life spent completely unbalanced and disrupted. I chose to flip the portion of my face in the red stripe because when I would think back on my moody-ass behavior it was unrecognizable as me, it just didn't match up. I know many other women struggle with these same sorts of issues and it sucks that we are saddled with such a crappy biological function